My 3-year-old daughter...
"I'm not upset! I'm just crying!!"
...what she yelled at me while having a temper tantrum after I said "It looks like you're feeling upset." Clearly, clearly, my child, you are most definitely not upset, and that statement you just screamed at me totally supported your case. Or perhaps not.
My 5-year-old son...
P: "Can I please have some ranch?"
(I had just poured some ranch on his plate for his carrots and cucumbers at lunch)
Me: "You have a lot, buddy. If you eat all that, I'll get you some more."
P: "No, Mom, I want some ranch, please!"
Me: (looking at him blankly and completely confused) "You have ranch right there on your plate."
P: "Mom, not this ranch. The OTHER ranch!"
Me: (thinking to myself that my son has lost his mind.)
(LONG PAUSE)
Me: "Oh! You mean Italian dressing?"
P: (he can't believe it's taken me this long to catch up) "Yeah, Mom, that ranch I like for my cucumbers!"
...our lunch discussion the other day. Any condiment that comes out of a bottle is known as 'ranch' to this boy...with the exception of ketchup. Ketchup has always been and will forever be, ketchup.
"My dog is hurt. It's because his veins go to his head, and not his heart. I need to check him out and help him get better."
...fear not, he is talking about a stuffed animal dog. But yeah, kid, I would say veins to your head instead of your heart would pose a problem. This is also probably a sign he has seen too many episodes of Doc McStuffins.
No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.
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