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Thursday, 1 August 2013

I Need a Stunt Double

Posted on 07:58 by Unknown
Oh, what a beginning to the day yesterday.  Parenthood never has a dull moment, am I right?

My son wandered into our bedroom at 5:44am to let me know he had had an accident.  Yup.  He was right.  Totally and completely soaked.  The good news is he was somewhat awake so it wasn't in that half-asleep crying, confusing, panicked state...just a little embarrassed and cold. 

I got him cleaned up, then stripped the sheets off his bed.  At this point, I began assessing my situation and possible plans of attack.

If I play this right, can I get him to go back to bed for just a little bit longer?  It's still dark out.  We're being really quiet so we don't wake up his sister or his dad.  He can't read a clock yet.  I think I'll go for it.

In an attempt to get him back to horizontal as soon as possible, I went with the option of not remaking his bed with clean sheets at that point.  I hoisted him up to his top bunk bed, hoping he'd go back to sleep for a bit.  The only glitch here is his top bunk does not have a railing, as no one ever really sleeps in it.  To solve that problem, I climbed up in bed with him and acted as a "human rail" between him and the edge of the bed.  (Good time to note that the bed is shoved up against the wall on the other side.)

Glory of all glories, he did indeed drift back off to dreamland.  Hallelujah!  

Around 7:30am, my daughter was up and around and I could see her making a beeline for our bedroom.  I called out to her from my son's top bunk to let her know we were in Parker's room.  As soon as she saw us up there, she of course decided she'd love to go out into the living room and quietly read a book by herself while her brother was still sleeping.

HA!  Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention...

No, of course, she wanted to hop up in bed with us.  (Good time to note that there is no ladder for the bunk bed because, again, no one ever really sleeps on the top bunk.)  In an effort to get down as quickly as possible before she started making too much noise, I simply slid down from top bunk and jumped down to the floor.  I've done this countless times before, either from making that top bunk or getting down after getting kids up there or whatever.  Not a big deal.

Not a big deal...unless there is a mystery Lego lurking under a mini pillow pet.

Oh, yes, ladies and gentlemen.  A big ole Lego (like the chunky kind toddlers play with) was in a ninja-like state, hiding just under the edge of the mini pillow pet where I had planned my landing.  And let me tell you, that hurts.  HURTS.  Take how you are wincing in pain right now just after reading that, and multiply it by about a million.

Here would be the result of that ungraceful leap:


High percentage chance I broke my toe.  

Wondering how I did this?  I think when I hit the Lego with my foot, my brain went "OUCH! GET OFF THAT THING, YOU DUMMY!" and then I transferred all my weight onto my toes to prevent the Lego actually lodging itself permanently in the bottom of my foot.  Not one of my finer moments...

All in a day's work, people.  All in a day's work.

I think I need a stunt double.

Even if you acquire a few injuries along the way, You're a Good Mom. 

********************************************************************************************
What "parenthood injuries" have you incurred in the line of duty?  Yes, stepping on a Barbie shoe counts.  (Those suckers hurt!)  Yes, your child flinging Spaghetti-O's into your eye counts, too.  (Ouch.)  Let's hear 'em, folks.  (Just hoping I'm not the only one who finds herself in these predicaments.)  

 ******************************************************************************************

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