A Thank You Letter to Moms Everywhere

A Little Backstory
For the past few weeks, I've been really looking forward to writing a Mother's Day post.  A day all about Moms on a blog all about Moms?  It's a perfect fit!  At least it was a perfect fit, that is, until I actually tried to start writing.  And then tried again.  And again.  And again.  This day means so many different things to so many different people and elicits so many different emotions.  I had no idea where to even begin.

Every time I tried to pull it all together, something didn't feel right.  The words just wouldn't come as a I stared at a blank screen.  Or I wrote too much without saying anything at all.  So there I sat, at 8:51pm the night before Mother's Day, trying to say something...anything...that would mean something...anything...to anyone out there reading it.

Just about the time I was getting ready to fold up my lap top and give this whole "Mother's Day post" thing a try next year, a notification came through on Facebook.  I happily clicked on over to Facebook because obviously no writing was actually taking place on my end, and this seemed like as good a reason as any to continue procrastinating.  Out of the blue, I had received a message from a friend who had gone back tonight and re-read the very first post I wrote when I started this whole blogging adventure a few months back.  She shared how it had touched her, how it had encouraged her and actually thanked me for writing it.  

Thanked me.  

There it was.  The words that had been eluding me.  The words I needed to hear.  The words that spoke to my heart. 

I was shocked as I read her message.  I didn't feel like I had done anything that warranted a thank you.  A few months ago, I had simply put together a string of words, a few sentences, a couple of paragraphs, and sent them out into cyberspace, wondering if anyone would ever read them.  But she did.  And she thanked me for it.  And that, along with the rest of her sweet message, made me cry.  Right there at my computer, just as I was getting ready to call it quits.  

In that moment, I realized how powerful those two little words were, and how much we all need to hear them.  Even when we don't think we've done anything "special" to deserve them.  And especially when we are just about ready to call it quits.

Sometimes, God doesn't work in mysterious ways.  Sometimes, He just flat out works.  At a time when I was struggling to find words myself, He was speaking them to me through her.  It was the encouragement I needed, exactly in that moment, to put a post together for today.

So here is my Mother's Day post.  It isn't perfect.  But neither am I.  It isn't exactly how I imagined it to be.  But neither is Motherhood.  It is simply from my heart.  

I hope in some way, some part of it speaks to your heart on this Mother's Day.

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A Thank You Letter to Moms Everywhere

Thank you.

You.  Yes, you.  All of you.    

Thank you.

Each and every one of you.  Especially you; you who are feeling like you're hanging on by a thread today.  And you; you who are joyfully soaking up every moment of your very first Mother's Day today.  And you; you who are filled with grief and sadness today as you mourn a loss.  And you; you who are overcome with gratitude and happiness and love today.  And you; you who seems to roller coaster between all those feelings day in and day out.  You.  I'm talking to you.  

Thank you.

Let me say that again in case it didn't quite sink in.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

You don't hear it nearly enough, but thank you.  

Being a mom usually means long hours and lots of work, and often there aren't too many "thank you's" floating around.  Sometimes it's because your child isn't able to speak those words.  Sometimes it's because life just becomes so very busy that there aren't the moments for those words to be sincerely spoken.  Sometimes it's because you are always there, doing what you do, and those words get forgotten.

Thank you.

Thank you for the little things.  Thank you for the big things.
  
Thank you for changing diapers, changing sheets, changing clothes in closets as the seasons change and kids grow.  Thank you for finding lost mittens, lost socks, lost library books, lost dreams and helping your child to believe in them again.  Thank you for wiping noses, wiping down counters, wiping away tears.  Thank you for applying band aids, applying kisses, applying yourself.  Thank you for tying shoes, tying ribbons on pigtails, typing up loose ends.  Thank you for washing uniforms, washing dishes, washing away past mistakes and letting your kids know it's OK to be human.

Thank you for always knowing the answer to the question "Where is my (fill in the blank)?" when it is asked by any family member at any time.

Thank you for sitting at endless baseball games, dance recitals, volleyball tournaments, band concerts, basketball scrimmages, and school plays.  Thank you for helping to sell wrapping paper, cookie dough, coupon books and sub sandwiches so your child could participate in all those activities.  

Thank you for telling your children no, even when it's hard; especially when it's hard.  Thank you for providing them with boundaries and keeping them safe and helping them to understand that life is about so much more than just getting "your way."

Thank you for doing laundry.  And more laundry.  And more laundry.

Thank you for loving your child in a way only you can.  Thank you for giving them a sense of worth just by being there for them, unconditionally, over and over and over again.  Thank you for never giving up on them, even when it gets hard and you are exhausted.  Thank you for having that special place in your heart that has been, and will forever be, saved for your child.  No matter what.  

Thank you for hearing what your children are really saying, even when that message is hidden behind different words; even when they aren't talking at all.  Thank you for giving them space to grow and be who they need to be.  Thank you for hugging them and holding them tight when they need that, too.  

Thank you for the way you embody patience, grace, love, humility, kindness and selflessness.  You are teaching these qualities to your children everyday without speaking a single word,  simply through your actions, and most likely don't even realize you are doing it.  Thank you for bringing to life these intangibles for your child to experience firsthand.   

Thank you for the time, effort, love and care you put into your family.  Thank you for working around the clock.  Thank you for being real.  Thank you for all the things you do, day in and day out, that you don't think of as "special" or deserving a thank you.   

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for being a mom.  

Happy Mother's Day!  For today and for always, You Are a Good Mom.

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Who Says a Washing Machine is Just for Clothes?

Things I Have Pulled Out of my Washing Machine or Dryer Since Becoming a Mom

1. broccoli
2. a wide variety of combinations of change  (The upside of this is unanticipated pennies for pony rides at Meijer for my kids and quarters for my husband to feed the parking meter when he goes to his grad classes.)
3. a Lego
4. guitar picks
5. mailing labels that my daughter had been playing with and stuck all over her pajamas while wearing them  (Those labels are now pretty much permanently glued to those pajamas.)
6. ear buds 
7. a clean pull up (which now happens to be a very clean pull up...)

#7 was most definitely the worst.  And the most recent.  As in it happened two days ago.  

Please hear me loud and clear on this one:  Do NOT try this at home.  

I opened my washing machine to find lots of little gel "crystals" on everything.  EVERYTHING.  As soon as I saw it, I knew what it was and I knew it was not good.  I immediately pictured my daughter putting her own clothes in her hamper.  While it is exciting to watch my children grow up and  become more independent and self-sufficient, it is not exciting when it results in a complete and total mess.  

(All you parents out there know that for independence to be achieved, a complete and total mess is pretty much necessary.  Case in point: learning to pour juice.  I rest my case.) 

Unfortunately, this time around, being independent also involved a clean pull up being tucked inside her jeans as she tossed them in her hamper.  I mistakenly dumped the entire hamper into the washing machine without paying too much attention to the contents.  Guess who will be checking every single pair of pants that goes from her hamper into my washing machine from here on out?  Add that to my "Weird Stuff I Do Now That I'm a Mom" list.  

Just in case you ever find yourself in this same unfortunate position, here was my plan of attack that proved to be fairly successful.

1. Throw your gelified clothes from your washer into your dryer.  
2. Run the "clean washer" cycle in your washing machine using one of those over-sized Alka Seltzer cleaning tablet things.  
3. Dry your gel-covered clothes.  
4. The gel will all clump together and form a strange science experiment which could win you a science fair blue ribbon, as you've just discovered a new state of matter.  
5. Washer is clean.  Clothes are gel-free.  All is right with the world again.  

I'm sure you can find that entire process out there on Pinterest somewhere...complete with pictures and a recipe for homemade over-sized Alka Seltzer cleaning tablet things.

Please do not ask what I've found in my dishwasher.  Yesterday I opened it up to find a Dora the Explorer Band-Aid.  Really?  A Band-Aid?  How on earth did a Band-Aid make it into my dishwasher?  I cannot make this stuff up, people.  I wish I was, but alas, this is just the craziness that is my life.  

When emptying the contents of your washer or dryer (or dishwasher around here...) is an adventure, You Are a Good Mom. 

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To My Daughter on Her Birthday

To My Daughter...

Three years ago today, you made your grand entrance into this great big world.  In some ways, it feels like those three years have absolutely flown by, but in other ways, it feels like you've always been here and I simply can't remember what life was like before you were a part of our lives.

Three years ago today, I was past my due date by a day and had just gone through a week of lots of contractions.  More than once, Daddy and I thought we'd be heading to the hospital, only to find out it was a false alarm.  Knowing you and your flair for the dramatic, now I think it was you playing a little joke on us!  

Three years ago today, I had a contraction in the middle of the night.  And then another one a few hours later.  And then hopped in the shower around 5:30am and had two more and thought this might actually be something and I should probably wake your Dad up.  We called Grandma to come stay with your brother, and by 7:30am my contractions were pretty close together, pretty intense, and we were headed downtown to the hospital.

Three years ago today, the Riverbank Run was also taking place.  As in, thousands and thousands of people converging on downtown, which just so happens to be where the hospital is.  So as I gripped the arm rests and tried to breathe, your Dad navigated through closed road after closed road and herds of runners warming up for the race that was about to begin just as we neared the hospital.

Three years ago today, you arrived at 12:51pm, weighing 6 pounds, 12 ounces.  Daddy got to tell me you were a girl, and we decided on your name together.  I was completely overcome with emotion, and I remember a single, silent tear rolling down my cheek when they placed you in my arms.  I had a daughter.

Three years ago today, your big brother got to be the very first family member to meet you.  We were able to celebrate as a little family of four.  Those are some of my most precious memories.  Seeing him hold you and look at you and be amazed by you are images that are forever stored in my memory and tucked away in my heart.  I try to pull them out on the days when you guys are fighting over the same blue Lego piece, and there is a tub of 53 million of the exact same Lego pieces in the tub behind you.

Three years ago today, that very proud big brother got to walk into the waiting room full of your family, waiting to meet you, and eagerly announce "I have a little sister!"

Three years ago today, it was the day before Mother's Day.  You were absolutely without a doubt the very best Mother's Day gift I could have ever imagined.  You smelled better than any flowers, your kisses were sweeter than any candy and your eyes sparkled brighter than any jewelry I could have received.  You made me a mom for the second time, and I was completely and totally in love.  That, my dear, has never, and will never, change.

My sweet girl, I love your spunky, strong, independent spirit.  You are always finding a way to make me laugh or smile with your silly antics.  You know what you want, and you are not afraid to go for it. You are so full of life and love to try new things and new adventures.  You are the very best grocery shopper helper I could ask for.  You are loving and caring, and always seem to find creative ways to help others.  You love to sing, you love to dance, you love to be the center of attention.  You love to play outside and draw and swim and run and laugh...oh how you love to laugh.  You give the very best loves, even though you usually only give them on your terms.  You are such a quick learner, and are eager to keep up with your brother every step of the way.

May you continue to be completely and totally you. May you know how deeply and truly you are loved...by me, by your Dad, by your family, and most of all, by God.  May you dream big dreams, and have the courage to follow them.  May you know you will always, always, always have a place to call home.

I love you forever and for always!
Mommy

You are my daughter.  My sweet, precious gift.  For you, everyday, I strive to live up to those words "You Are a Good Mom."  I hope every now and then, I hit the mark!  I love you to the moon and back!

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WTSW: Dandelions & Red Blueberries

What They Said Wednesday:  Volume 3
I know that title up there says What They Said Wednesday.  And today is very much Tuesday.  Sorry for any day-of-the-week confusion this may have caused you.  My daughter's birthday lands on a Wednesday, and there will be a birthday post for her tomorrow, so my kids' goofy quotes are being delivered a day early.  Happy TuesWednesday!

My almost 3-year-old daughter...
"Take that out of her mouth, Mom!  She wants milk!"
...said very seriously to me as I was holding my niece and giving her a pacifier while my sister was getting her bottle ready

"I'm not cranky!"
...in the most whiny, cranky, crabby voice imaginable

My almost 5-year-old son...
"Look!  It's our very first dandelion!"
...said with extreme joy and delight upon spotting said dandelion in our side yard.  Dad, however, did not have the same joy and delight upon hearing this statement.

"They are like little red blueberries!"
...describing the strawberries in his Eggo waffle.  You could always just call them strawberries, but where's the fun in that?

"You wanna come to my show next year?"
...what he has been asking everyone he talks to since he had his preschool concert last week.  Mark your calendars now, folks, for some unknown show circa May 2014.

"You need to use your nice words, not your freakin' out words."
...to his little sister as she was, well, freakin' out.

"...and that Baby Hazel will open her eyes because her eyes have been closed for 20,000 days and one year.  Mom, will she ever open her eyes again?"
...part of his prayers, after a visit from Baby Hazel when she slept the whole time she was at our house.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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"Parent"dox: So Small, Yet So Big

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #11: So Small, Yet So Big

This was how I spent my Saturday night.  I don't mean to brag, but I guarantee it beats the pants off whatever anyone else in the entire universe was doing.  I'm just saying.

I was in the basement of sister and brother-in-law's house as they were finishing up a long day of moving.  I found myself a nice quiet piece of their sectional couch that was actually right side up, and snuggled with my sweet, sleeping two-week-old niece.  For about 2 hours.

I was most definitely in my happy place.

And while in my happy place, holding my sweet little niece, I looked down to notice she was wearing an outfit that used to belong to my daughter.  I was instantly transported three years back in time.  I remembered picking that outfit out and choosing it because it was cute, but not pink and not too girly.  I remembered the first place she wore it, which was to a retirement party for a few colleagues of mine.  I remembered how very tiny my daughter seemed when I put that outfit on her little two-week-old self.

That is when this "parent"doxical question crossed my mind:  How is it possible to love something so small with a love that is so astronomically big?

My life was completely and totally changed with the arrival of each of my children.  I discovered I had a capacity to love in a way I never knew I was capable of when I met each of them.  I experienced a love so deep, so rich, that even now I have trouble putting words to it.

These little tiny people -- each of them weighing no more than 7 pounds -- had captured my heart.  Forever.  

What continues to baffle my mind is how quickly and deeply I fell in love with these tiny little people who I knew so little about. This love was different than any other love I had experienced in my life.  I had no idea what talents they would have, what fears they would have, what hopes and dreams they would have, what struggles and difficulties they would have.  I had no idea if we would have anything in common.  I had no idea what their personalities would be, what their interests would be, what foods or books or colors or ice cream flavors would be their favorites.  They had no words to communicate any of this to me, and wouldn't for a very long time.  They couldn't hug me or kiss me.  They couldn't even look me in the eye, or smile at me to show me they were connecting with me in some way in those first few days.

I didn't know if they would ever love me in the way I loved them.  

But it didn't matter.  None of that mattered.

I knew everything I needed to about them.  They were mine.  Nothing else mattered.  I loved them totally and completely and unconditionally.  Instantly.

I knew I had experienced a love that went beyond anything else.  I knew I this was a love that was bigger than me.  I knew something in my heart grew and stretched and changed in those early days with both of my babies, and it hasn't been the same since.  It loves in a way I can't make sense of, in a way I can't put words to.  It is an unconditional, unchangeable, immeasurable kind of love.

Even when I was spit up on...and peed on...and pooped on...without so much as a smile from this little tiny person I was devoting myself to caring for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Even when I hadn't slept or showered or eaten a warm meal.  I was in love.  I couldn't explain it then, and I can't explain it now.

The smallest people I have ever been blessed to know have blessed my life with the biggest love I could possibly imagine.  

When your heart is full beyond words.  When you experience love beyond words.  When you have a love bigger than words for such a tiny little miracle, You Are a Good Mom.

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Happy Birthday!! (Now Go Enjoy your Prom...)

Happy Birthday, Trevor!
Spring is serious birthday time in our family, and today is no exception. Besides me, my mom, two of my uncles, my new niece!, my daughter, my father-in law and my brother-in-law, my husband also has a spring birthday.  And today is his day.  

I couldn't let this day go by without a little shout out in a blog post to my own and only, but "Happy Birthday, Trevor" doesn't really constitute an entire post.  And it doesn't really relate all that much to my experiences and adventures as a mom, which is what this blog is all about.  What's a girl to do?  

So here is my solution:  write a birthday blog post for my husband, recapping my very favorite memory, selected from the past 13 birthdays of his that I've been around for, which just so happens to have a little Motherhood tie in.  Here goes...  

Travel Back with Me to 2010...
My due date for our 2nd child, my now three-year-old daughter, was exactly five days after my husband's 30th birthday.  I was faced with a minor dilemma about what to do for this momentous occasion of my husband entering his 30's.  This was a fairly big birthday, as far as birthdays go, and not one to just let "slip by."  A few months out, the wheels started turning...  

Do I have a surprise party?  What if the surprise is that I'm in the hospital having a baby when all our friends and family show up at our house?  Do I plan a day for him to go golfing with some of his buddies?  What if they have to call him in off the water hazard at the 15th hole because my water just broke?  Do I try to do something before his birthday and before Baby is born?  What if I'm put on bed rest?  What if I'm so humongous and exhausted and uncomfortable I fall asleep at 8:07pm at a party I'm hosting?  (Um, did I mention I'm a little bit of a worrier?)

Fortunately, a great friend of ours saved the day on this one.  He actually called me and asked if I had plans for Trevor's 30th birthday.  Yes, but no, but I've tried to play through every scenario and I've come up with...nothing.  I think he could hear the desperation in my voice.  Brilliant friend with equally brilliant idea to the rescue!  Here was his pitch: I tell Trevor we're going out for dinner.  I tell him I've made reservations at a Japanese Steak House.  The surprise part is when we get there, 3 other couples will be waiting for us when we walk in the lobby.  If for some reason we have to take a detour, say, to the hospital, not a huge deal, as we only have to let 6 people know, and they get to stay and have a great dinner anyway.  Like I said, brilliant.

What We Weren't Expecting...But We Were All Expecting...
We arrived at the restaurant as planned.  My husband was surprised as he slowly figured out it wasn't just a coincidence our friends were also there.  We waited for our table.  We talked.  We chatted.  We laughed.  We began to notice a couple people looking at us.  And then a few more.  And then we noticed just about everyone in the lobby had looked over our way at some point.  That's when we realized it.  All 4 of the women in our group were noticeably pregnant, and due within about 4 months of each other, with me leading the pack at T minus 5 days from my due date.  Oh, what a sight we were.  

Then it got even better.

We were escorted to our table.  (I'm pretty sure I waddled, but whatever...)  Now, if you've ever been to Japanese Steak House-style restaurant where they cook your food right at your table, you know you end up sharing your meal with complete and total strangers in order to fill a table that surrounds a flat top grill.  So who does the 30th birthday group with 4 pregnant women get seated with?  Who else but a bunch of high school kids out for dinner before their prom?  Why not, right?  

My first thought...Where is Ashton Kutcher?  Are we on 'Punk'd' right now?  (Who am I kidding...that show had been off the air for years by 2010...)

My second thought...Really?  I already feel like I'm the size of a house and now I have to eat this meal sitting next to teenage girls in formal wear and heels?  I'm pretty sure I can't see my feet anymore at this stage in the game.  And I can't even have a drink to ease the pain...

My third thought...They must think we are all insane.  Like pregnant women travel in packs or we have started some sort of strange pregnancy club or the Japanese Steak House now hosts Lamaze classes on Saturday nights or something.

My fourth thought...We have quite possibly helped to prevent some poor choices from being made later in their evening by scaring the crap out of them with our 100% pregnancy rate over at our end of the table.

My fifth thought...Man, I'm hungry.  It's been at least 47 minutes since I last ate.  Let's eat!

We left dinner, and hit a couple more spots before we called it a night.  We were like a traveling circus.  Every single place we went, people would stare in amazement or confusion or disbelief as we walked by.  So.  Much.  Fun.  I'm serious here, people.  It was so funny to see people's reactions, and honestly, when you're that pregnant, who would you rather be around than other pregnant women?  

As far as birthdays go, nothing says "Happy 30th Birthday" like a night out with 4 pregnant women and some teenage kids on their way to prom.  No surprise party.  No golf outing.  But it did turn out to be a memorable evening, shared with amazing friends.  And their babies-to-be.

Happy Birthday, Trevor.  You are an incredible man, husband and father.  Every year on this day I say a special prayer to thank God that you were born.  And that you picked me.  And that my kids have such an amazing guy to call "Dad."  And that I get to make yet another German Chocolate cake.  Through your constant encouragement and support, You Are (helping me to be) a Good Mom.

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WTSW: Lions, Cheetahs, and Eyeballs...Oh My!!

What They Said Wednesday:  Volume 2

My almost 3-year-old daughter...
"Parker, we have talked about this before!" 
...to her brother, as he was trying to scare her by being a cheetah (one of his new favorite activities).  It always make me laugh/cringe when I hear my own words coming out of my children's mouths.

"Everyone not be sick.  And everyone follow the right directions.  And everyone get their eyeballs back together.  In Jesus name we pray.  Amen"
...her bedtime prayer.  I have no idea where the eyeball thing came from.  But I suppose everyone having their eyeballs back together if they were for some reason apart would be a good thing.

"Mom, let's talk about my day."
...as she's supposed to be taking her nap

"I'm not adorable.  I'm a lion!"
...her adamant response after I told her she was adorable, followed by much roaring and clawing of the air

"Wherever you are, come out pee!"
...self pep talk while sitting on the potty

My almost 5-year-old son...
"Dad, you can just call me Park.  That's OK."
...apparently my son is taking on a new almost-kindergartener identity

"My love is as big as this whole planet!"
...trying to explain to me how much he loves me

"What if we just toot on them?  Then when they breathe, they'll have to breathe stinky air."
...said completely straight-faced, as his idea for how to get rid of the ants in our driveway

Parker: "Mom, do you know the shortcut to the big kid park?"
Me:  "Yup.  I'm your Mom.  I know everything."
Parker:  "Do you know how God was born?"
...Well played, son, well played.  This is what I get for being a smart alec with an almost 5 year old.  He literally did not skip a beat with his response.  My husband literally rolled on the ground laughing.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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