Happy Birthday!! (Now Go Enjoy your Prom...)

Happy Birthday, Trevor!
Spring is serious birthday time in our family, and today is no exception. Besides me, my mom, two of my uncles, my new niece!, my daughter, my father-in law and my brother-in-law, my husband also has a spring birthday.  And today is his day.  

I couldn't let this day go by without a little shout out in a blog post to my own and only, but "Happy Birthday, Trevor" doesn't really constitute an entire post.  And it doesn't really relate all that much to my experiences and adventures as a mom, which is what this blog is all about.  What's a girl to do?  

So here is my solution:  write a birthday blog post for my husband, recapping my very favorite memory, selected from the past 13 birthdays of his that I've been around for, which just so happens to have a little Motherhood tie in.  Here goes...  

Travel Back with Me to 2010...
My due date for our 2nd child, my now three-year-old daughter, was exactly five days after my husband's 30th birthday.  I was faced with a minor dilemma about what to do for this momentous occasion of my husband entering his 30's.  This was a fairly big birthday, as far as birthdays go, and not one to just let "slip by."  A few months out, the wheels started turning...  

Do I have a surprise party?  What if the surprise is that I'm in the hospital having a baby when all our friends and family show up at our house?  Do I plan a day for him to go golfing with some of his buddies?  What if they have to call him in off the water hazard at the 15th hole because my water just broke?  Do I try to do something before his birthday and before Baby is born?  What if I'm put on bed rest?  What if I'm so humongous and exhausted and uncomfortable I fall asleep at 8:07pm at a party I'm hosting?  (Um, did I mention I'm a little bit of a worrier?)

Fortunately, a great friend of ours saved the day on this one.  He actually called me and asked if I had plans for Trevor's 30th birthday.  Yes, but no, but I've tried to play through every scenario and I've come up with...nothing.  I think he could hear the desperation in my voice.  Brilliant friend with equally brilliant idea to the rescue!  Here was his pitch: I tell Trevor we're going out for dinner.  I tell him I've made reservations at a Japanese Steak House.  The surprise part is when we get there, 3 other couples will be waiting for us when we walk in the lobby.  If for some reason we have to take a detour, say, to the hospital, not a huge deal, as we only have to let 6 people know, and they get to stay and have a great dinner anyway.  Like I said, brilliant.

What We Weren't Expecting...But We Were All Expecting...
We arrived at the restaurant as planned.  My husband was surprised as he slowly figured out it wasn't just a coincidence our friends were also there.  We waited for our table.  We talked.  We chatted.  We laughed.  We began to notice a couple people looking at us.  And then a few more.  And then we noticed just about everyone in the lobby had looked over our way at some point.  That's when we realized it.  All 4 of the women in our group were noticeably pregnant, and due within about 4 months of each other, with me leading the pack at T minus 5 days from my due date.  Oh, what a sight we were.  

Then it got even better.

We were escorted to our table.  (I'm pretty sure I waddled, but whatever...)  Now, if you've ever been to Japanese Steak House-style restaurant where they cook your food right at your table, you know you end up sharing your meal with complete and total strangers in order to fill a table that surrounds a flat top grill.  So who does the 30th birthday group with 4 pregnant women get seated with?  Who else but a bunch of high school kids out for dinner before their prom?  Why not, right?  

My first thought...Where is Ashton Kutcher?  Are we on 'Punk'd' right now?  (Who am I kidding...that show had been off the air for years by 2010...)

My second thought...Really?  I already feel like I'm the size of a house and now I have to eat this meal sitting next to teenage girls in formal wear and heels?  I'm pretty sure I can't see my feet anymore at this stage in the game.  And I can't even have a drink to ease the pain...

My third thought...They must think we are all insane.  Like pregnant women travel in packs or we have started some sort of strange pregnancy club or the Japanese Steak House now hosts Lamaze classes on Saturday nights or something.

My fourth thought...We have quite possibly helped to prevent some poor choices from being made later in their evening by scaring the crap out of them with our 100% pregnancy rate over at our end of the table.

My fifth thought...Man, I'm hungry.  It's been at least 47 minutes since I last ate.  Let's eat!

We left dinner, and hit a couple more spots before we called it a night.  We were like a traveling circus.  Every single place we went, people would stare in amazement or confusion or disbelief as we walked by.  So.  Much.  Fun.  I'm serious here, people.  It was so funny to see people's reactions, and honestly, when you're that pregnant, who would you rather be around than other pregnant women?  

As far as birthdays go, nothing says "Happy 30th Birthday" like a night out with 4 pregnant women and some teenage kids on their way to prom.  No surprise party.  No golf outing.  But it did turn out to be a memorable evening, shared with amazing friends.  And their babies-to-be.

Happy Birthday, Trevor.  You are an incredible man, husband and father.  Every year on this day I say a special prayer to thank God that you were born.  And that you picked me.  And that my kids have such an amazing guy to call "Dad."  And that I get to make yet another German Chocolate cake.  Through your constant encouragement and support, You Are (helping me to be) a Good Mom.

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WTSW: Lions, Cheetahs, and Eyeballs...Oh My!!

What They Said Wednesday:  Volume 2

My almost 3-year-old daughter...
"Parker, we have talked about this before!" 
...to her brother, as he was trying to scare her by being a cheetah (one of his new favorite activities).  It always make me laugh/cringe when I hear my own words coming out of my children's mouths.

"Everyone not be sick.  And everyone follow the right directions.  And everyone get their eyeballs back together.  In Jesus name we pray.  Amen"
...her bedtime prayer.  I have no idea where the eyeball thing came from.  But I suppose everyone having their eyeballs back together if they were for some reason apart would be a good thing.

"Mom, let's talk about my day."
...as she's supposed to be taking her nap

"I'm not adorable.  I'm a lion!"
...her adamant response after I told her she was adorable, followed by much roaring and clawing of the air

"Wherever you are, come out pee!"
...self pep talk while sitting on the potty

My almost 5-year-old son...
"Dad, you can just call me Park.  That's OK."
...apparently my son is taking on a new almost-kindergartener identity

"My love is as big as this whole planet!"
...trying to explain to me how much he loves me

"What if we just toot on them?  Then when they breathe, they'll have to breathe stinky air."
...said completely straight-faced, as his idea for how to get rid of the ants in our driveway

Parker: "Mom, do you know the shortcut to the big kid park?"
Me:  "Yup.  I'm your Mom.  I know everything."
Parker:  "Do you know how God was born?"
...Well played, son, well played.  This is what I get for being a smart alec with an almost 5 year old.  He literally did not skip a beat with his response.  My husband literally rolled on the ground laughing.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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"Parent"dox: Exact Same Parents, Totally Different Kids

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #10: Exact Same Parents, Totally Different Kids
Tonight I pose for you an age old question...

How can children born to the exact same parents be such totally different kids?

I have two children: one son, one daughter.  They were born to the same parents.  They have grown up in the same house.  They definitely look like siblings.  (I was recently asked if they were twins.  Yes, they are.  They were just born 22 months apart.)  But they could not be any more different from one another.

I suppose it all started with their arrivals to this great big world.  (The only commonality being that I was past my due date with both of them...)  

With my son, I was induced, spent the day in labor and we got to see his sweet little face just before midnight.  This totally fits him, as he is our planner, our thinker, our observer, and our "take my time to make sure I've got it right" kid.  

With my daughter, I went in to labor on my own, was in the delivery room for a few very short hours, and we got to meet her precious little self just after noon.  This, too, totally fits her, as she is our active, funny, outgoing, "I want to do it all myself and do it all now" kid.  

A couple little vignettes to further illustrate my point...

Easter Eggs
The Saturday after Easter, our kids both wandered into our bedroom very early in the morning.  Not to do anything without asking first, my son pleaded with us "Can we please have an Easter egg treat while we are playing?"  Being the amazing mom I am and not wanting to drag myself out of bed yet, I told them yes, they could each have one Easter egg treat.  I figured this would buy me at least 10 more minutes of peace and quiet.  

About 5 minutes later, my son came wandering back into our room.  "Mom, Morgan opened 3 Easter egg treats!!"  Sure, there was the pure joy in tattling on a sibling, but there was also most definitely shock and awe in his voice as he was sharing this news with us.  For him, this incident was unbelievable because this was not 'the rule' that was given, and it needed to be fixed.  Like right now.  In yet another stellar parenting move, my solution was to tell him this:  "Ok, you can have 2 more eggs.  Tell your sister she may not open any more egg treats."  He countered with "But Mom, you said only 1 egg!"  Kid, you are missing your golden opportunity here....

At this point, my daughter must have realized she was getting ratted out, because she came toddling in.  I asked her if she opened 3 Easter egg treats.  "Yes, I did."  Hey, at least she's honest.  "You may not have any more Easter egg treats.  Do you understand?"  Silence, then:  "Um...yeah...I'll just open one more, OK?"

One thinks rules were made to determine every single action that takes place in this world.  One thinks rules are merely guidelines, made to be bent as much as humanly possible and used only as a reference.

Preschool Drop Off
My son truly loves preschool.  We've been blessed with a great school, great friends in his class, and two truly great teachers.  However, during the first week of school, we had one day that was a tough drop off.  The single commonality between my children on this given occasion?  Tears. 

When I had to leave, my son was in his classroom, in tears, because he didn't want to stay and wanted to come with me.  There was a lot of "new" in that room -- new teachers, new kids, new toys, new expectations.  It was all just a bit overwhelming for him.  

My daughter was in tears, because she wanted to stay at preschool and didn't want to come home with "just" mom.  There was a lot of "new" in that room -- new teachers, new kids, new toys, new expectations.  It was fun and exciting and an adventure to be tackled, and was very intriguing for her.

From the foods they eat to the things that make them laugh to way they react to consequences to the way they play, they are totally different kids.

'Different' Doesn't Mean 'Less'
Do I love them the same?

Absolutely not.

Let me repeat that: absolutely not.

My kids are totally different people, with totally different personalities and totally different needs.  I love them in completely different ways.  Over the last few years, I have learned that what works well with one of my kids can blow up in my face with the other one.  This seems to be true with just about everything from discipline to positive encouragement to even just playing or goofing around with them.

So no, I don't love my kids the same.  

It doesn't mean I love one more than the other.  That would literally be impossible, as my love for each of them is bigger than anything in this world.  It doesn't mean one gets away with more than the other.  It simply means I love them very differently for the very different people they are.  What one needs, the other doesn't.  What encourages one, can sometimes discourage the other.  What helps one, can sometimes hinder the other.  I love them both with every cell in my being, but I love them differently.

My kids are not strangers to fighting with one another, as siblings often do.  They know just how to push each others' buttons, in a way only a sibling knows how.  It is my hope and prayer, though, that by celebrating their differences and loving them differently, and not comparing them or trying to get them to be "the same" when they are so clearly not, that someday they will be able to acknowledge, respect and even appreciate each other's differences.  I hope that by loving them differently, they will learn to love themselves for the unique people they are, and cherish those special qualities that make them, them.

My Sister and I...
I feel very lucky that my parents did this for my sister and I.  We are unbelievably, ridiculously different, and have been for as long as I can remember.  Did we fight and push each other's buttons?  Pretty much every single day that we both lived under the same roof.  Was my go to line as a kid 'My life was good until you were born!'?  Perhaps.  (Did she *my younger sister* try to use that line on me?  Did it then just make me laugh and then make her even more upset?  Most definitely yes.)  

But now that we are adults, I see so many characteristics in her that I wish I had more of in me...

...her "go with the flow" attitude
...the way she handles stress with ease and grace 
...her knowledge of anything hair, fashion or make-up related (I will undoubtedly be sending my daughter to her when she is old enough to start asking questions about any of these topics.)
...her ability to not worry about what other people think
...her creative, outside-the-box approach to solving any problem that comes her way
...her know-how about all things technology
...how she can confidently speak her mind and share her feelings

These are areas that I struggle with myself, but I am fortunate enough to get a front row seat to watch an expert and learn from her.  I am so thankful our parents did not try to fit us into the same mold; that we each got to be our own person and grow and succeed in our own, different ways.

Night and Day
So yes, my children are night and day different.

One of my children cries about having messy hands, and the other one loves to dig in the dirt.  

One of my children snuggles up with every single stuffed animal in our entire house at bedtime, and the other one doesn't even want a blanket when it comes times for bed.  

One of my children cannot rest until every possible speck of frosting has been devoured from a cupcake, and the other one can walk away from a half-eaten bowl of ice cream without a second thought.

And no, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love them both like crazy.  Each in their own different way.

Your kids might be cut from the same cloth.  Your kids might be polar opposites.  You might have one child, who is their own unique, amazing person.  However their own little (or big!) personalities are developing, you are there, loving them, every step of the way. You Are a Good Mom.

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Thoughts On Becoming an Aunt

Happy One Week Birthday, Baby Hazel!!

One week ago today, I was waiting for the arrival of my beautiful niece.  It recently came to my attention that while I wrote about the waiting part, I never updated anyone on the arrival part. Just in case you were worried, my sister has not been in labor for the past 7 days.  She did, indeed, have her sweet baby girl!  

My niece was actually born about 30 minutes after I published my post about waiting.  I think it was her way of saying "This is the first of many, many times I will prove you wrong.  Go ahead and write about waiting, but I'm actually on my way here right now.  Just remember, I'm the one calling the shots here, Aunt Carrie."

I know I'm only a week into this whole aunt gig, but so far, it's pretty awesome.  Some of my "new aunt thoughts" thus far...

1. For every time I've had to say "no" to my own children, I will get to say "yes" a bazillion times over to my niece.
2. I will have a little girl to spoil ridiculously with all kinds of tiny outfits and barrettes and shoes and dresses and socks and tights and...
3. I can give her as many cookies as she wants at family Christmas before I get busted by her parents.
4. I get to hold and cuddle and rock a tiny little bundle of joy, but I also get to sleep at night.  (This may not actually be as true in real life as it is in theory.  My almost 3-year-old is having night terrors nearly every night, so there is not much sleep happening at our house right now.  But, I am not waking up to feed a baby, so there's that...)
5. I get to teach my niece lots of new things.  This makes me especially excited when I think back to all the things my sister has taught her niece and nephew.  My children now refer to "barking spiders" every time any type of wind escapes their little buns.  They also point out every single possible combination of blue and maize they can find, even to the extent that my son refused to eat two orange and brown M & M's I gave him because they were "not Michigan colors, Mom!"  Oh, how I cannot wait to teach my niece new things, too!
6. I can defer to her parents when she fills her diaper, spits up everywhere or needs to eat.
7. For the first time in 5 years, there will be a little one that I can play with and laugh with and dance with all I want, but don't have to be accountable for handling any crying, whining, arguing or disobeying.  (Don't worry, Katie, I'm sure she won't do any of those things.  Ever.  Purely hypothetical...)

I'm actually considering having a t-shirt created that says:

"Aunt:  All of the fun, none of the responsibility!" 

Let me know what size and color you would like yours printed in.

In all honesty, though, I am over-the-moon excited to walk alongside my sister in this grand adventure of parenting.  I am eager to support and help and be there for her, my brother-in-law and niece every step of the way.  I am excited for her to experience all that Motherhood has to offer.  She may have moments and experiences that intersect with mine; but I know her journey will also be full of moments and experiences that are entirely hers.  I am lucky that I will get to learn from her for years and years to come.

Throughout my sister's pregnancy,  I had a lot of "aunt" thoughts.  I thought about meeting my niece for the very first time.  I thought about holding her, snuggled in my arms.  I thought I had this whole "aunt" thing pretty well figured out.  I had already been down the Mom road and had two children of my own...how much different could this "aunt" thing really be?

But come time find out, there was also a lot that I didn't think about until that moment when life changed for our entire family at 2:05pm last Friday. 

I didn't think it was possible to be so proud of my little sister.

I didn't think it would be so so hard to say goodbye when it came time to leave and head back home, 3 hours away.

I didn't think I could be so much in love with someone else's baby.

I didn't think seeing my niece in an outfit my daughter wore when she was only days old would transport me back in time so quickly. 

I didn't think I would love talking about all things baby and mom-related with my sister, especially the "no one else will tell you this or discuss this with you unless you are sisters" stuff.

I didn't think about the gift it would be to watch my own parents be grandparents all over again.

I didn't think about how I would feel even closer with my sister when she stepped into the role of "mom" herself.  

I didn't think becoming an aunt would change my heart, my life, in the ways it already has.

You Are a Good Mom, even when you're not "the" mom.  Loving every single moment of being an aunt!  

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More Scotch, Burping and Mentos

What They Said Wednesday
Oh, the stage of chatty toddlers and preschoolers!  My kids are at such a fun age when it comes to the things that unexpectedly pop out of their mouths.  They are constantly making me laugh -- rarely on purpose -- with the things they say.  In the midst of wiping noses, playing Candyland and folding never-ending laundry, though, it seems that these gems get written down in my memory, but never quite make it to anything more permanent.    

All of you Moms know just how reliable that memory is, too.  At first I was told "It's just pregnancy brain," then "It's just newborn brain," and now I have come to understand my memory is just pretty much shot.  If I don't write it down, it's gone.  Like right now.

In an effort to have some sort of documentation of their "kid-isms" I'm going to attempt to capture them here once a week.  I was posting them in the sidebar under "Notable Quotables" but I have come to realize after I change the quote, it is erased and gone forever.  Both from cyberspace and my memory.  And it only took me 2 months to figure that out.  So a weekly post it is, as those get saved here in blogland.  I'm going with "What They Said Wednesday."  So that's my goal.  We'll see how long this lasts...

By reading this post any further, you agree that you will not report me to any authority based on anything either of my kids has said.  In addition, you will also gain an understanding of why I get just a little bit nervous about any time they open their mouth in public.  That level of anxiety increases exponentially when my son steps foot into a school setting. (Let's all reflect on the bat meat story for just a minute here...) 

If you are still reading, thanks for humoring me and reading my "this is all about my kids" post.  Hopefully, in return, it will provide a little humor to your day.  

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My almost 3-year-old daughter...
"Mom, is that the More Scotch pudding we made?" 
...in reference to the butterscotch pudding I was pulling out of the refrigerator for dessert 

"I did rumbles today!"
...her answer to my question about what she had done in her tumbling class that day

My almost 5-year-old son...
"How did Baby Hazel get here?  Did Katie just have to push a lot and burp?"  
...his theory on how his newborn baby cousin arrived

"We got to play Sharks and Mentos in my class today!"  
...also more commonly known as Sharks and Minnows to the rest of the world

"Mom, hurry up!  You need to scamper!  Go as fast as you can!  Run as fast as an ostrich!!"
...as we were running in the rain from the parking lot to the mall entrance

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.


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So It Rained a Little Bit...

If you live in West Michigan, you know that we have had our fair share of storms and rain for the next 8 years all wrapped up in the past 2 weeks.  Even though the season has officially started, my son has yet to play a single soccer game, and I'm pretty sure we'll be playing until August at this rate.  All this rain has also led to quite a bit of flooding, and even a "Flood Day" school cancellation on Friday!  ("Mom, is this like a snow day?")  At one point, we even had a duck swimming in our backyard.  Not walking.  Not waddling.  Swimming.  

There have been some pretty incredible photographs floating (pun intended) around on Facebook, including my personal favorite of a fish seen through an office window.  

These photographs are not them.  Sorry to disappoint.  

These are simply a few snapshots I took of my kids playing in the lake that became our back yard for a couple of days.  Because really, who can resist splashing around in puddles, no matter how old you are?  Just for reference, under normal circumstances, we have no water in our back yard...no stream, no lake, no pond, no nothin'.  

Nothing like a little swing set turned water park in the back yard.  

Most of the time we were out there, they were in much deeper than this.  Just wanted to get a picture of their sweet little rain boots in the same puddle while I had the chance!

Lightning McQueen goes for a swim...

And here is the irony of it all...

These are all the trees that died after our drought last summer!!

So how does all of this tie into my experiences as a parent?  It doesn't really, but here is my attempt at a loose connection...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."  ~Vivian Greene

When I read this quote for the first time, it really struck a nerve.  It is actually the reason I had my own rain boots to wear and splash around in the backyard lake with my kiddos.  After reading the quote for the first time, I shared it with my husband and we ended up talking about it for quite a while.  At the time, it really seemed to "fit" the season of life I was in.  Life seemed to be throwing storm after storm, and I was just hoping to wait it out. "Dancing in it" was the furthest thing from my mind at that time.  My gift that Valentine's Day was a pair of rain boots and a note that read "So you can dance in the rain..."  I remember that every time I slip those boots on my feet.

So once again...how does this connect in any way to parenting?  

Parenting is filled with incredible blessings, incredible amounts of joy, incredible moments to treasure.  It is, however, also filled with lots of storms, too.  

Middle-of-the night feedings.  Teething.  Night terrors.  Potty training.  Temper tantrums.  And that is just the tip of the iceberg...

They are inevitable.  There are so many different issues to work out and work through at different stages throughout your child's life.  We can't avoid it.  We can, however, choose how we view those storms and our attitude as we weather them.  

Will you spend those precious days waiting for that storm to pass?  Or will you throw on your rain boots and dance in the rain?

Today, the sun is shining.  The water in our backyard is receding.  The storm is over.  I am so thankful that for this storm, I was out there playing, splashing, dancing in the rain with my kids, not just waiting for that storm to pass.  The memories of that day bring a smile to my face even now.  I will treasure seeing the joy and wonder in those little faces and remember those tiny rain boots for years to come.  They will be tucked away and added to the "sunshine" I will draw on when the next storm hits.  Sometimes the steps are slow and unfamiliar, but I am trying to learn to dance a little more each day.

Rain or shine, You Are a Good Mom.


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The Waiting Game

I have never been very good at waiting.  

Christmas can never come soon enough.  

I don't love sitting through previews before a movie starts (well, at least from what I remember from going to a movie at an actual movie theater in a previous life...)  

Calling Comcast and being on hold for eternity is my least favorite activity, right behind going to the Secretary of State's Office to renew my license.  

On the rare occasion my fingernails have nail polish on them, it is most definitely smudged because I can't seem to sit still quite long enough for them to dry.  

It is not unusual for me to burn my mouth on a fresh-from-the-campfire marshmallow because I can't wait for it to cool down to a temperature that measures less than the surface of the sun.

I'm sure this is not news to anyone.  I mean, really, who in their right mind really enjoys waiting? 

No one.  That's who.

So why am I writing the most obvious, unenlightened post in the history of the world?

Because I am right smack dab in the middle of one of the hardest "waits" of my life.  And it was either write this post or wear a path in the carpet.  So write it is.

I am sitting in the waiting room at the hospital just a few doors down from the room where my little sister is in labor.  She is resting right now, with her incredible, supportive husband by her side.  And we are all waiting.

I needed something to keep my mind busy, to keep my hands busy, and writing something seemed like the best option.  That, coupled with the fact that I have no handiwork talents, such as knitting, sewing, cross-stitch, origami or basket weaving, so typing it is.

I am well aware that my sister is the one doing all the work here.  Really, I should not even mention the word waiting, as she has been waiting 9 long months for this day to arrive.  (But she has no idea I'm even writing this right now, so I guess I can just go for it.  Sorry, sister, who is probably reading this while feeding your sweet baby girl in the middle of the night 5 days from now when you actually have a chance to read this...)  

The anticipation and process of getting down here today is probably not helping this whole "waiting" business, either.  My sister lives 3 hours away from me, and throughout her entire pregnancy I have hoped and prayed for above all, a safe delivery, but a close second was my hope and prayer that I would be able to be there when my sister was in labor and when my niece was born.  Babies are cute and adorable and lovable, but predictable on time of arrival?  Not so much.  Being out of town and having 2 little ones of my own, I didn't know if that would be a possibility.  

But it is.  I am here.  I am feeling beyond blessed to be here.  If I have to wait, I am glad I get to do it here.  I am glad I get to be a part of this day.  Even it involves lots of waiting.

Waiting. 

Waiting to meet my niece.

Waiting to hold her in my arms for the first time.

Waiting to hug my sister and brother-in-law.

Waiting to watch their first precious moments of Parenthood unfold.

Waiting for our family to grow once again.

Waiting to snap pictures that capture moments of a day that will be remembered forever.

Waiting for the memories and stories of this day that will be told over and over and over again in the years to come.

Waiting...

My amazing, strong, incredible sister, You Are a Good Mom.  You are so very close to holding your baby girl, kissing her sweet face, and cherishing this amazing little person who is the very best parts of you and the very best parts of Brian all wrapped up in one perfect little bundle.  I love all 3 of you with my whole heart!

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